God, what do you have planned for me?

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, they are plans for good, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Ok so I am definately going through a quarter life crisis! At 26 years old I'm looking around at all my friends and peers getting married, having babies, buying houses, and getting degrees. I have been in 5 weddings so far and I'm scheduled for another this coming October. I have been at the forefront of coordinating shower after shower, engagement parties, bachelorette parties...you name it and i've helped to plan it.

When my mother was my age she had a PhD and was teaching at a local university in New Orleans (UNO). When my father was my age he was starting his pest control business that he still operates today. Back then, my parents were cultivating their pathways to success..a pathway that I am so very proud of.

Today, my dad is the only licensed entymologist in the state of Louisiana. And to spite the adversities he experienced brought on by racism...he perservered and obtained his licensure nearly 30 years ago.

My mom was the first African-American female to obtain tenure at the University of New Orleans...And she went on to be alot more firsts, paving the way for future generation to come. She was at the forefront of countless movements, and through her work the study of environmental justice was born!

Yes...I think my parents kind of a big deal!

Which leads me to ponder what the hell i'm on the pathway to accomplish????

I mean i'm really confused. I feel like my life is everything but together. Over the last 5 years I have changed professions 4 times! My mayoral fellowship with the city's health department is ending in 5 days. I do not have another job lined up, just praying and interviewing at this point. I have not gone to Tulane to go register for my PhD classes that I plan to begin taking in the fall. I took my first time homebuyers classes, but I am in no position to buy a home in the midst of all my confusion. I consider career changes at least 6 times per day. I live in New Orleans so my social life consists of running into the same people over and over again at the same events...womp, womp, womp....And did I mention i'm too poor to feed my shopping addiction which is the one thing that keeps me sane? And don't get me started on my non-existent dating life...so marriage and a family is no where in the picture anytime soon for me. So where is my life headed...ugh!!!!!!!

So as result I am experiencing the ultimate quarter life crisis...I am beyond confused! I feel like my options are limited, i'm getting old, and I don't know which way to go...I never thought my twenties would be like this. I have spent more time worrying about my future than actually enjoying the present. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say "Dee you can't be serious??? I mean what the hell are you doing with your life..." And all I can come up with is I have no clue.

I used to have direction and somehow it got lost in my life's twists and turns...I had my life all planned out and then I graduated from college...Since then I decided to just go with the flow and that has been disastrous, yet meaningful if that makes sense at all. I mean here I stand more clueless than ever before...but at this point in my life I understand that everything that happened in the past has brought me to the point where I am today and it all makes perfect sense (NOW)...

At 21, I couldn't understand why I was working as an assignment desk assistant a WWL-TV News. Then one day, while rolling teleprompter for the afternoon news and finishing up a 5 am to 5 pm shift, I met the deputy director of the Mayor's Office of Communications. He called me in for an interview the next day and that same week I was hired as a press writer. Then as time progressed that job didn't make any sense to me...but I couldn't figure out what else to do...I mean I wanted to go to graduate school, but in what?????

So then Katrina devastated the love of my life, New Orleans, and I was forced to move to Baton Rouge. I was miserable living out there and I spent a year trying to figure out how I could get back home. And then one day it came to me like an epiphany...just go back to school. So I looked up graduate programs at Tulane University (cause its in New Orleans) and saw that the School of Public Health had a concentration in Health Communications and Education and I thought to myself hmmm this will be the perfect opportunity to tie in my collective work experiences of working in health news at CNN,being Health Section Editor of my college newspaper, working in broadcast journalism at the news station, and then in communications at the mayor's office...I'll do this! So I applied on line, took the GRE, and moved back home within some weeks of my decision.

But then when I moved home and started school, my personal life began to drastically fall apart. During my second semester of graduate school, my boyfriend of 3 years and I decided to part ways...and I was devastated. At the time I though that he was the man that I would marry. Somehow, through the depression, insomnia, weight loss, and hair loss...I kept my grades together. In spite of it all, I pulled through and graduated with my MPH.

Life is sooo funny, when I was working in the Mayor's Office in 2004/2005 I thought if I could just get out of here, I'll never come back...and I got out of there, got a master's degree only to come right back as a mayoral fellow in the health department.

But today it makes sense that I would do a mayoral fellowship in the city's health department (of which i would've known nothing about had I not peviously worked in the Mayor's Office) with the greatest health director in the world, Dr. Kevin U. Stephens, MD, JD (Google him)...And it makes perfect sense that my ex-boyfriend and I broke-up back then because today he makes my skin crawl (so marriage would've been out of the question)...and it makes perfect sense that I had to find a graduate program that was in both health and communications...It makes perfect sense that two years ago my hair fell out, it was time to grow a new head of hair anyway...lol...Even the friendhips that I lost and thought would have lasted a lifetime, I have accepted that those people were just there for a reason or a season. All of the trials and tribulations...even Katrina makes sense now. These meaningful disasters have helped to shape my life and continue to shape who I am and where I'm going...

And as for the future, ya'll just pray for me...I'm following God's Plan!

Harvard, LLC

On Thursday June 4th, 2009, my cousin Lauren Lynette Causey (LLC) will graduate from Harvard University with a Master of Education with a concentration in Language and Literacy. I am soooo excited!!! She is the first in the fam and the only "child of the village" to graduate from an ivy league institution and not just any ivy league school but, Harvard!!! I mean come on Harvard is part of the ivy league holy trinity...Wow!!! She is so tight!!!

The first African-American to graduate from Harvard University was Richard T. Greener in 1870. Since Richard T. Greener paved the way for future generations of African-Americans to graduate from this prestigious instition, graduation rates for African-Americans at Harvard University are very low. In fact, enrollment for African-Americans at Harvard University is very low. But that didn't stop my Lerner (as I affectionately call Lauren).

I have always admired my cousin Lauren. I firmly believe that there is nothing in this world that she can not accomplish. When Lauren graduated from undergrad (Howard University), she ventured off to New York and lived there for 4 years working at Scholastic in the contracts department. Imagine the level of independence it takes to move to such a big city at the tender age of 21!!! But she did it with such grace and confidence!

And so it comes as no surprise that she is graduating from Harvard University, because Harvard is lucky to have such a phenomenal woman to join the ranks of their alumni. So, on June 4th, 2009, not only will Lauren obtain her master of education from Harvard, but most importantly, Harvard will obtain its LLC (Lauren Lynette Causey)!

Remember her name...Lauren is destined for greatness!!!

letting go...

So Friday night, I decided it was just time to let it go. I felt like I had been a prisoner in my own thoughts since last August. Can you imagine waking up in the morning thinking about the same situation that you went to bed the night before thinking about? It was complete torcher! But thats the Danielle way...always obsessing over some obstacle in life that I was not able to resolve in a manner that met my needs and expectations. It happens every year. And then one morning, like magic, it just vanishes...I just let it go...I just wake up from the never ending nightmare of my thoughts and realize that some things are meant to be broken...some situations are just unfixable!

So why is it that while i'm being torchered by my thoughts I can't just have faith that the moment will pass? Well, its because at the time it doesn't feel like it will ever end. The moment feels ever lasting. Its grueling...its miserable...but it somehow on someday eventually ends...

I am no longer consumed with thoughts of why things happened the way they did or wondering what I could've done to prevent things from happening the way they did. I just decided that it just happened, exactly the way it did and exactly the way it was supposed to. I was sad about it for exactly the right amount of time and I let it go the exact second that I needed to do so. And that's just it!

There is no secret method to letting go. There is no learned coping mechanism for life's trials and tribulations. Its a very natural process that happens in a time period that is specific to each individual and that individuals' situation. It takes some of us two seconds and others of us two years...It just varies. Some of us can get over it just like that and others of us can not, some of us need anti-depressants to get over the hump and others of us just need a glass of wine...some of us need to seek talk therapy via mental health professional and others of us just need to talk to our person (see Grey's Anatomy to understand Christina and Meridith). Whatever the case may be...its all good!

When I was going through my rough patch many people felt that my felings were unwarranted and exaggerated. I believe that those people were all wrong. They weren't me, so how could they determine how I should feel about or react to a certain situation? And who were they to tell me how long this feeling should last?

I just needed some time. And now, I've bounced back, like I always do and like I always will. I'm armed and ready for the next storm, so bring it on (which was me hitting a cement post at the gas station at an estimated total of...drumroll please...$800 with my broke ass, but its cool!) ...

Hey, that's life (well my life atleast)...i'm rolling with the punches...Let's get it!!!

The Renaissance Woman

~Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want, everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it's right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it. You just might get the thing you're wishing for. The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it. With all your heart.~ One Tree Hill

Jamila Aiesha Coleman is a professional architect, jewelry designer, interior decorator, clothing designer, seamstress, hat designer, graphic designer, painter....the list goes on...she is the little girl that had big dreams and the 26 year old woman that made them come true. Let this be an example of what you can achieve in life if you believe in yourself and work hard to cultivate the talents that God has given you. Do not set limits on what you can achieve...do not be afraid to tap into the genius that lies within you. Do not be afraid to dream, your wish just might come true!

This is dedicated to my ACE!!!

While watching a low budget movie, I was interrupted by a phone call from my dearest college friend. I told her I was watching a movie, but I could here in her voice that she needed someone to talk to. So, I lowered the volume on the movie and insisted that she continue with the converstaion. As we began to talk she began to reveal a side of herself that not too many people ever see...I know this side of her because we were roomates in college. But very few people get to see the REAL her. She has this very tough facade that tricks people into believing that she doesn't care what anybody thinks or says about her. But I know a different side of her, the human side that does actually care what people say and think about her.


As the conversation persisted, she expressed that her best friend told her that she didn't feel like putting up with her ways and that she didn't want to be bothered. She started crying and she said to me, "Dee, do you think I'm a bad person?" She went on to say, "I mean if she thinks that about me, do other people think the same thing.?"


This made me reflect upon quite a few recent incidents in my life and I began to wonder, do we allow what our friends think define what we think about ourselves? And if what they say or think can cause us to second guess ourselves so easily, then are we secure with who we are?

Throughout my life I've had some friends to say some really hurtful and untrue things about me. And when this would happen, I would allow others to make me feel stupid for caring about what what was said. When the truth is, we all care. When you care about people, you respect and value their opinion and of cousre you care about what they think. And anybody who claims to feel any differently needs to just be real with themselves. Now, the level of caring that takes place may differ from person to person, but the botom line is that we all care to some extent..and we are all affected by what other people think.

So....what do we do to move forward from it. Well, I try to assess the credibility of this persons' thoughts or comments. Is it really a reflection of how they feel about me or are they using me to place the blame on how they feel about themselves? Does this person have the ability to see things in a clear and realistic way? Is this a person that usually has your best interest at heart?There is a fine line between constructive criticism and just plain jealousy. Evaluate what is being said and who is saying it before you begin to second guess what kind of person you are.
Caring about what others think can be a good thing. It helps to keep all of us in check.

When you look in the mirror, who do you see? Don't let other people change what you see. Don't ever let someone else be responsible for the way that you feel about yourself. Now, if you don't like what you see, then change it. If you do, blow yourself a kiss and keep it moving.


We all get angry, hurt, upset, and confused and sometimes lose our ability to think rationally. That makes us human, not crazy. Don't beat yourself up for being human...and don't let the person that is responsible for your irrational acts make you feel guilty about a reaction that they caused.


Emotions are not meant to keep bottled up, let them out. But let them out and move on. And anybody who punishes you for being emotional is not meant to be in your life.You are who you are. Don't hold on to those emotions, set them free beacuse they have the ability to weigh you down. Please refer to Ms. Badu's Bag Lady...Its so real!!!

We are all multi-faceted and we will come across people that bring out the best and the worst in us. The key is to surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you and accept you at your very worst. That's your home team...identify you hometeam...identify your ACE!

Food for thought...

Why is it so important to look a certain way? I mean being percieved as attractive is at the top of the majorities' priorities. And as superficial as it is, its real. I must admit I am guilty of internet stalking celebrity images just to look at the emerging fashions, make-up trends, and hairstyles. And don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with getting inspired by someone who's style you admire. But my question is, why is that so important? How many of us are guilty of judging someone by their appearance? And although we are all products of the society that we live in, as adults shouldn't we be responsible for changing something so petty, so ridiculous, so meaningless. After all, wouldn't it be great to be at the forefront of a movement designed to cultivate the self esteem of youth based on who they are rather than what they look like? I wonder if that will ever be possible...

Jazzy Java Cafe

After church today I went to my favorite new coffee shop, Jazzy Java Cafe located in New Orleans East on Bullard. While waiting for my coffee I began talking with the owner about the pace of business. Jazzy Java Cafe is approaching its one year anniversary and due the slow progression of the re-population of New Orleans East, business is not meeting the hopeful expecations of the owner.Nonetheless, she is hanging in there,hoping for the best.

As a lifelong resident of New Orleans East and an avid supporter of African-American entreprenurship I make it a point to frequent the coffee shop atleast 3 times a week. The coffee is great and the pastries and sandwiches are delicious...They have everything you want in a coffee shop from free wi-fi to an incredibly peaceful and intimate ambiance topped off with a lovely decor.Its pefect for studying, reading a book, hosting a book club meeting, or just kicking back and relaxing with a few friends. Some of my favorite treats to enjoy at jazzy java include the jazzy lulu (steamed milk, expresso, toffee nut and caramel), almond croissants, coffee cake, and almond muffins. Yum!

I think its of primary importance that African-Americans patronize black-owned businesses. If we don't, then who will? Jazzy Java Cafe is an example of an agent of change paving the way to african-american entrepreneuship in new orleans east post-katrina. Let's support them and the countless other giants whose shoulders they stand upon like, Rodent Guard Termite & Pest Extermination, Quick Courier, Liberty Bank, Subway (Caton St., Claiborne Ave.), Mona's Accents, The New Orleans Tribune, The Louisiana Weekly, Data News Weekly, Lil' Dizzy's, Dookie Chase Restaurant, Hamps Construction, The McKenna Museum of Arts, etc... Let's add Jazzy Java to the list of black owned businesses whose endeavors we continuously support!

If you work or live in New Orleans East, grab a cup of coffee from Jazzy Java on your way to work. If you live near New Orleans East, grab a cup of coffee on the weekend or stop by for a sweet treat...How far will you travel for Starbucks? A former Starbucks addict, I assure you Jazzy Java is much better! I am certain you will find something that you will like at Jazzy Java and I guarantee that you will continue to visit this establishment.

Exactly as I am....

So recently, Shaun Robinson's (Spelman College c/o 84) book Exactly as I am hit the bookstores. I rushed out on my lunch break to go buy it! The book promotes self-esteem in young women and encourages women to accept themselves exaclty as they are. It sounds simple, but the road to executing such a simple process can take most people a lifetime to achieve. I'm still a novice in my journey...But there are quite a few things that I have come to accept as a part of who I am...

I am very sensitive....I take alot of things to heart and internalize alot of things that people say to me. Its hard because my feelings get hurt very easily, but because of this I am very cautious and sensitive to other people and the way that they feel. I think this trait actually helps me to be a better person everyday...a more caring person....and a person that is always conscious of the way that their actions affect other people.

I've decided that my body was made perfectly for me, my style, and my personality...As a result of this I don't worry about my weight anymore or feel self-conscious about the way that my body looks...I just make sure that when I get dressed in the morning, what I have on compliments the body that GOD gave me...believe me that's half the battle with body image issues...you have to wear clothes that work for you...Every body is different and what looks good on someone else probably doesn't look good on you. Know what works for you and rock the shit out of it!!!

I am on a lifelong journey to find a job that is fulfilling. This is difficlut for me because I have a vast range of interests that are ever changing...I'm the little girl that wants to be 80 million different things when she grows up. So yes, I'm flighty and scattered...However, I recognize and accept who I am...as confused as I am. A self-proclaimed hippie...I have interests in writing, broadcast journalism, public health, public relations, cosmetology, make-up artistry, and education, what can I say....I even daydream about being a video vixen.lol! I want it all...But I am a woman with a plan to execute any dream that I have ever set forth to accomplish. I've decided that school is for the confused....so I will be in school until I get it exactly right! PhD here I come...

I've had moments in my life where I will have crushes on 5 different guys at one time, and that's my perrogative! In life, you only have to get it right one time in one relationship....that's why they're called THE ONE! I don't beat myself up over failed relationships anymore...rather, I see every past relationship as trial and error...Its like finding that perfect shoe....keep trying different pairs on until you get it right. Oh and its never too late to get it right...

I pay close attention to the way that people treat others. Even if I bring out the best qualities in a person, that doesn't gain brownie points with me. I want to see that you are a good person all across the board...because I AM! I very seldom take into consideration people's intentions, but rather I assess actions. Only GOD knows you're heart. I believe that adults should be held responsible for their actions. I do not care if your intention is not to hurt somebody else...if you do it in the process, you are responsible...I very seldom am willing to budge on this matter and I don't make very many exceptions...When people show you who they are, believe them...

I believe that everything happens for a reason, even if the reason never becomes clear to me...So if something doesn't work out I accept it and I very rarely put up a fight...Now as a result, I can not stand a quitter...I am attracted to men that are persistant and most of my dearest friends have strong personalities...I admire the fight in people....but that's just not my own personal style!

I am not afraid to dismiss a person from my life if I don't think I am being treated the way that I deserve to be treated. I am willing to face the pain head on....I don't take the easy route and deal with a man until I am over him...I will call it off while I'm still in love and I just deal with the excruciating pain of heartbreak. But once, I'm hurt like that...it's over. I never look at that person in the same light. And I don't engage in meaningless relationships with other guys to get over someone...I do it the hard way...so when i'm done i'm done....I don't believe in transferring feelings...that shit does not work for me...

This is exactly who I am...Still a novice in accepting exactly who I am, but I am enjoying my journey!

I Once Loved a Boy...

I once loved a boy...I realized I loved him when I was 10 years old...It took him 7 years to even notice me! I loved him so much I went out and bought a Wu Tang Clan chain just like his and I would wear it to get his attention. When he would come to the house to wash my mom's car on saturdays I would wake up early so that I could run downstairs and stare at him while he washed the car...I looked forward to seeing him at Jack-N-Jill meetings on Sunday evenings and tutoring during the week...He finally noticed me the summer before I went off to college...It was a great summer and a great Christmas break that followed...We were young, he was not ready to settle down...I was...We didn't make it...But today, he is one of my closest friends and the only person i will call at 3:00 a.m. and cry becasue i've had a bad day, a bad dream, a bad thought....I loved this boy, I love this man, and I will always love this man...

I once loved a boy so much that whenever I was around him I would get butterflies in my stomach. I thought he was the greatest guy to ever walk the face of the earth. Never met anybody that made me feel that special...we got older, we grow apart...I no longer love this man...I no longer know this man...

I once loved a boy so much that he consumed all of my thoughts....Just the sound of his voice made my heart skip a beat. Back when I believed that there was actually a man of MY dreams....he was it...We were so young...When we broke up, it was the first time that I actually felt the pain of a broken heart...I had experienced hurt feelings before, but never a broken heart. Things were never the same after that...Today, this man is my friend...and when i'm around him my heart beats at a normal rate...lol!

I once loved a boy so much so that he was my everything...We were attached at the hip, always together, the best of friends...we grew older, we went through alot of changes, things were never the same...Today we're still cool! I think he's great...just not for me...

I once loved a boy that was waaaay too old for me! Lol! He was one of my dearest friends and definitely helped me to get through a major transition in life. Over the years we would lose touch and always find our way back to each other! We are still very close friends and I will always love this man!

I once loved a boy so much that an argument with him would make me sick to my stomach...The relationship took all my energy....I lost sleep...missed meals...wrecked cars...lost weight...my hair fell out...And today, I think this man is a joke...I do not love him and I do not understand the love that I once had for him...THANK YOU GOD!!!

I once loved a boy that was my very best friend. He did some very hurtful things and I allowed that to affect the way that I felt about myself. I am no longer friends with this man. I do not love this man...I do not like this man...And some days I even hate this man...

I have loved many boys...but very few men!