Do you ever really get over your first love? I just can't seem to shake mine. I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on him. I was a freshman in high-school and he was at our homecoming football game with his girlfriend who was in the homecoming court that year. As I starred at him from across the stadium I thought to myself, this is the cutest guy in the world. I had never seen anything like him. I quickly moved on from the 5 minute crush I had developed and determined that he was way out of my league. Nearly a year later a friend of mine was dating his friend. His friend called me one day to tell me that he was interested in me and I thought he was joking so I hung up in his face. I came to find out that it wasn't a joke, he really was interested. It was too difficult for me to process that this guy that was way out of my league even noticed that I existed, and I had already begun to date someone else. Afraid to explore my feelings for my crush, I pressed forward with the relationship I was already in. As fate would have it and to my surprise, he came around again and of course my feelings had not changed. I tried to ignore them and stay with my boyfriend, but I felt like I was meant to be with this guy. I was totally and completely in love with him. He was absolutely the man of my dreams. Now today, the feelings aren't as intense as they were nearly 10 years ago...but the sight of him still stops me in my tracks and I still get butterflies in my stomach whenever I'm around him. I feel drawn to him like a magnetic force. I feel connected to him in a way that I never have with anyone else. When I see him it feels like we pick up exactly where we left off all those years ago. But when he's gone...he's really gone...out of my life totally and completely. I want to believe that my feelings for him are just in the moment and that they walk right out the door along with him, but if that's the case...why is he still on my mind?
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