Mr. Wright

Do you ever look back on all the random, meaningless, worthless relationships that you have been in and just wonder why in hindsight? I mean, at the time it felt right, and it seemed like he was the right person for you...but when you look back at it you wonder what you ever even saw in this person. Well that's the case for me as it relates to approximately 90% of the relationships I've gotten myself involved in. Hesitant to make those same mistakes again....even the thought of having a boyfriend makes me a bit queezy. And it's so weird because up until about 2 months ago I thought I was still in love with my last boyfriend and just like a bad dream I just woke up one morning and it was over. The thing that is beginning to concern me is that I am becoming very comfortable with being alone. I always liked to do things by myself like go out to eat and even go to the movies...but now I don't even have the desire for a companion. It just seems like a hassle or something that will stand in the way of my happiness...I definitely do not see it as an additive. And that's a very negative outlook to have on the idea of a companion and it' s also very discouraging when one of your dreams is to get married and have a family.

In all God's eforts to show me what I want in a man I continue to find things that I don't want. But I believe that's the best way to figure out what you do want. I used to be open to alot of things but now...not so much. I actually have developed a list ofthings that I can not deal with because God has allowed me to experience relationships with people that exude these qualities and it just doesn't work. So now, certain things are just big flashing warning signs that never were before. So I guess the next relationship will bring me closer to finding Mr. Wright!