This is dedicated to my ACE!!!

While watching a low budget movie, I was interrupted by a phone call from my dearest college friend. I told her I was watching a movie, but I could here in her voice that she needed someone to talk to. So, I lowered the volume on the movie and insisted that she continue with the converstaion. As we began to talk she began to reveal a side of herself that not too many people ever see...I know this side of her because we were roomates in college. But very few people get to see the REAL her. She has this very tough facade that tricks people into believing that she doesn't care what anybody thinks or says about her. But I know a different side of her, the human side that does actually care what people say and think about her.


As the conversation persisted, she expressed that her best friend told her that she didn't feel like putting up with her ways and that she didn't want to be bothered. She started crying and she said to me, "Dee, do you think I'm a bad person?" She went on to say, "I mean if she thinks that about me, do other people think the same thing.?"


This made me reflect upon quite a few recent incidents in my life and I began to wonder, do we allow what our friends think define what we think about ourselves? And if what they say or think can cause us to second guess ourselves so easily, then are we secure with who we are?

Throughout my life I've had some friends to say some really hurtful and untrue things about me. And when this would happen, I would allow others to make me feel stupid for caring about what what was said. When the truth is, we all care. When you care about people, you respect and value their opinion and of cousre you care about what they think. And anybody who claims to feel any differently needs to just be real with themselves. Now, the level of caring that takes place may differ from person to person, but the botom line is that we all care to some extent..and we are all affected by what other people think.

So....what do we do to move forward from it. Well, I try to assess the credibility of this persons' thoughts or comments. Is it really a reflection of how they feel about me or are they using me to place the blame on how they feel about themselves? Does this person have the ability to see things in a clear and realistic way? Is this a person that usually has your best interest at heart?There is a fine line between constructive criticism and just plain jealousy. Evaluate what is being said and who is saying it before you begin to second guess what kind of person you are.
Caring about what others think can be a good thing. It helps to keep all of us in check.

When you look in the mirror, who do you see? Don't let other people change what you see. Don't ever let someone else be responsible for the way that you feel about yourself. Now, if you don't like what you see, then change it. If you do, blow yourself a kiss and keep it moving.


We all get angry, hurt, upset, and confused and sometimes lose our ability to think rationally. That makes us human, not crazy. Don't beat yourself up for being human...and don't let the person that is responsible for your irrational acts make you feel guilty about a reaction that they caused.


Emotions are not meant to keep bottled up, let them out. But let them out and move on. And anybody who punishes you for being emotional is not meant to be in your life.You are who you are. Don't hold on to those emotions, set them free beacuse they have the ability to weigh you down. Please refer to Ms. Badu's Bag Lady...Its so real!!!

We are all multi-faceted and we will come across people that bring out the best and the worst in us. The key is to surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you and accept you at your very worst. That's your home team...identify you hometeam...identify your ACE!