It's been said that true happiness is achieved by the small percentage of people that have reached self-actualization, a term used to describe the realization of one's full potential and the desire for self-fulfillment. Persons that have been able to achieve this self-actualization are placed at the very top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. A very small percentage of people have been able to reach self-actualization, one of them being Mahatma Gandhi. So do I have to be Gandhi to find happiness?
When I reflect on what has made me happy over the years, it's consistently been associated with some circumstance, some thing, some person, some situation, some experience...it has always been connected to some external stimulus. Once that external stimulus is no longer present,I can not say that I continue to be happy. And in between the period of one external stimulus to another I am brainstorming what it will take to make me happy all over agin. I make these lists and call them goals, and as I scratch off these achievements from my list of accomplishments I realize that I am never satisfied. As soon as I scratch one off, I'm adding another to the list. If I could just go to graduate school...if I could just complete my masters degree...if I could just get a job...and then what? True happiness comes from within. It's not about getting a good job, obtaining a degree, finding a man, or whatever else one thinks will make them happy. I understand that, but what I can not grasp is the path you take in life where experiences, things, situations, and circumstances do not define or affect your happiness.
As superficial as it sounds, most of us are guilty of defining happiness this way. This is why we experience sadness, disapointment, depression, and despair. Sure we develop coping mechanisms to make it through the tough times like the loss of a loved one, a failed relationship, losing a job, rejection, an unattainable dream, losing everything in Hurricane Katrina, etc...but the development of coping mechanisms does not yield happiness it just helps you to maintain. The pain of life's disapointments never seems to really go away, rather we replace these disapointments with other experiences. So the whole "you need to get over it " mentality is unrealistic.
True happiness seems almost unattainable unless you are Mahatma Gandhi. So in the meantime I will work towards fulfilling Maslow's lower levels of the hierarchy of needs, particularly the physiological level which includes food...eating just so happens to be one of my favorite past times. You can't reach the top of the pyramid without fulfilling the lower levels, so fulfilling those lower levels is where I will be until I make it to the top. Hope to see you there!
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