What about your friends...

So what is a friend, really? A friend, unlike family, is an individual you select to be a special part of your life. Now this friend could be selected for a reason, season, or a lifetime...but it's a choice that you make. The dynamics of friendship vary from person to person. There is no set definition and no one person will embrace all the tenants of your specific definition. You have different friends that you can go to for different things. It is very common to have a wide range of friends that serve multiple purposes in your life. You may have a friend you can call when you're feeling down and out, another friend that you can call to go out and have a good time with, a different friend that you go to for advice, and yet another friend that always saves you when you're in a bind...and some of us luck up and have all that wrapped into just one or two friends.

Because we choose our friends, just as easy as we make the choice to initiate a friendship with a person, you can make the choice to terminate a friendship. But I often wonder, are you living up to the definition of a true friend when you clean house and decide to terminate a friendship?

When you become "true" friends with a person, you and that person grow to know and understand each other through and through. So your expectations of this person as your friend should not be unreasonable. You should expect them to be exactly who they are. Being a friend is not about being perfect or expecting perfection, it's about acceptance. Accepting your friends for exactly who they are can be a long and difficult process but this process must take place when you are establishing a true friendship. Some friends get it right overnight and are instant friends just like that and some friends take years to truly understand each other. A big part of friendship is understanding that people are human and its only natural that we make mistakes.

We judge our friends, we disapoint our friends, we feel insecure about ourselves and take it out on our friends, we can be selfish and forget to be there for our friends when they need us the most, we can be territorial with our friends, we can be immature and not be able to see past how situations affect us and overlook how they affect other people involved. But a real friend understands that your overall intentions are good and knows where your heart is. A real friend understands who you are and does not misinterpret your being human and making a mistake for a malicious act. A a real friend values the friendship enough to put their ego aside and open the lines of communication for discussion about any situation, a real friend can acknowledge a mistake that they have made, and a real friend can forgive. A real friend can take some people a lifetime to find, so hold on to yours!